This is such a lovely, well-thought out breakdown of the different aspects of fame trauma. I really appreciate your reassurance regarding coping mechanisms and normal cognitions in the wake of betrayal/relational trauma as it relates to being in the public eye. It's heartbreaking to go through, especially when people who do undermine your rights to privacy and security gaslight you about the ways they harm you. It is a second layer of betrayal when you are pathologized and told to betray your own health so that someone harming you can justify why they deserve continued access to you in similar capacities. It is a difficult task to explain the legitimate trauma-informed cognitions that arise when seeing some of the worst of humanity -- from proclivities for group think to malicious exploitation and violation to projection of pint up negative valence emotions -- without being labeled as paranoid or excessive by those who contribute to the problem. Alas, I guess it would be hard to make the people contributing to the trauma understand the way it compounds as a result of their behaviors, naturally. I do think that a lot of the trauma-informed cognitions are practical given the reality of circumstances imposed, and I also hope in the future I will find a way to balance the truths deeply embedded into trauma-informed cognitions as a result of severe betrayal trauma related to the public eye as well as the ability to yield, having mastered myself as I engage in this reality. Really enjoyed this piece and found it a breath of fresh air -- excited to hear more!
Sadly, a lot of people figure that since famous people have wealth and power, they cannot be hurt. But having power doesn't mean you're hurtful- it's about how you use that power. You can have zero power but WOULD use it hurtfully if you did. Famous people get looked at as automatic bad guys because having power is seen as innately evil. I believe this stems from the assumption that people are innately evil and would use power badly if they had it...which I disagree with.
In some ways, it's a "blessing", because you find out who the fakes are. If they repeatedly engage with you only to leech off your fame or fortune, you now know...
Thanks for sharing this Jess. It’s so refreshing and I’ll be honest, there’s a part of me scared to scale for this very reason! 🤯 I’ve already seen friends disappear and experience the loneliness, and feel so validated by your words 🙏🏻🧡 Big love
This is such a lovely, well-thought out breakdown of the different aspects of fame trauma. I really appreciate your reassurance regarding coping mechanisms and normal cognitions in the wake of betrayal/relational trauma as it relates to being in the public eye. It's heartbreaking to go through, especially when people who do undermine your rights to privacy and security gaslight you about the ways they harm you. It is a second layer of betrayal when you are pathologized and told to betray your own health so that someone harming you can justify why they deserve continued access to you in similar capacities. It is a difficult task to explain the legitimate trauma-informed cognitions that arise when seeing some of the worst of humanity -- from proclivities for group think to malicious exploitation and violation to projection of pint up negative valence emotions -- without being labeled as paranoid or excessive by those who contribute to the problem. Alas, I guess it would be hard to make the people contributing to the trauma understand the way it compounds as a result of their behaviors, naturally. I do think that a lot of the trauma-informed cognitions are practical given the reality of circumstances imposed, and I also hope in the future I will find a way to balance the truths deeply embedded into trauma-informed cognitions as a result of severe betrayal trauma related to the public eye as well as the ability to yield, having mastered myself as I engage in this reality. Really enjoyed this piece and found it a breath of fresh air -- excited to hear more!
Oh thank you so much for your comment - I’ve written three of these so far so if you haven’t seen them, go have a look :) I have about 15 planned!
Sadly, a lot of people figure that since famous people have wealth and power, they cannot be hurt. But having power doesn't mean you're hurtful- it's about how you use that power. You can have zero power but WOULD use it hurtfully if you did. Famous people get looked at as automatic bad guys because having power is seen as innately evil. I believe this stems from the assumption that people are innately evil and would use power badly if they had it...which I disagree with.
In some ways, it's a "blessing", because you find out who the fakes are. If they repeatedly engage with you only to leech off your fame or fortune, you now know...
Thanks for sharing this Jess. It’s so refreshing and I’ll be honest, there’s a part of me scared to scale for this very reason! 🤯 I’ve already seen friends disappear and experience the loneliness, and feel so validated by your words 🙏🏻🧡 Big love