I really appreciate the point near the end of this article stating that they learn how to hide these things well. That is so important for girls and women to know. Often these attitudes and behaviors don’t surface until after and engagement to be married or actual marriage. And that is definitely intentional.
Can we please stop using “females” as a modifier? We’re women. We’re girls. If we’re under the age of 18. We’re not scientific specimens that are of a different species. Using the term “female” is dehumanizing.
Hello, I have just ordered your latest book. ITIM. I do have a question that I was hoping you could help me with. My ex who I escaped from in August last year made several attempts on my life actually tried to kill me. A lot. He drugged me he poisoned me he put cleaning products in my food. I don't even know just how many times he tried due to a situation where I confronted him and he laughed in my face and I literally felt my brain leave my body all thoughts just went. And my brain didn't really come back until I clicked on to the numbers murder attempts he put me through. Its sheer luck I ever survived him. So 2 questions really, what was it that hapoend when I felt my brain leave my body? And how am I supposed to come to terms with him attempting to murder me not just once but several times. I have looked on the Internet but there is no advice, research or anything of the like that can explain it to me. Thank you for speaking up and sharing your knowledge with us. Cannot wait to get ITIM so I can try and make sense of my reactions to such an abnormal situation. Xx
I think it sounds like you were experiencing disasociation, it was too traumatic to be in the present moment.. I had an experience similar and I even viewed myself as a separate person. Will be interesting to hear what Jessica says about this.. sorry you’ve had such a hard time, sounds terrifying
T.W . I literally at the time of confronting him after what I found out he laughed in my face. That's when I realised why his friends drugged me also when he was away, he came back I thought he was cheating I couldn't put my finger on it but he was hiding something I installed a keylogger and he was using peadophile sites I confronted him and he laughed in my face. That's when my brain had lots of thoughts racing in my head and they just stopped. Many months later he tried to rouse me and I'd lost days I mean literally like 72hours it took a lot to wake me and when I came too he looked disappointed literally and hung his head, I thought about the last thing I remembered prior to that and it was him giving me "speed" I tried not to make eye contact after and my brain kind of started coming back slowly and pieced together why would he look disappointed I woke up because he didn't want me too. The abuse and attempts on my life got worse and a lot more frequent. There was no way out of there, I tried everything. I was convinced when I escaped I had stockholm syndrome. I know all of this sounds crazy. It was what he put me through and this is in a nut shell it's so much worse than I could actually say. And I can't find the answers anywhere other than ptsd complex trauma and professionals saying I need counselling luckily they know I'm not crazy and say it was complex trauma but no one seems to be equipped to give me therapy for what I went through.
Wow that sounds terrible!! So sorry.. Also happened to me, his friends drugged me, I can’t remember much of what happened for about 3 months.. I was terrified at the time thought I would of been sectioned if I told anyone. Hope you get the help to need... crazy men like this don’t seem that rare.
My ex only exhibited these gradually over the course of years and did his best to seem like a "good guy" on the outside, but these things are still so important to be aware of so no matter how long it takes to see them, you leave when you do.
I really appreciate the point near the end of this article stating that they learn how to hide these things well. That is so important for girls and women to know. Often these attitudes and behaviors don’t surface until after and engagement to be married or actual marriage. And that is definitely intentional.
Can we please stop using “females” as a modifier? We’re women. We’re girls. If we’re under the age of 18. We’re not scientific specimens that are of a different species. Using the term “female” is dehumanizing.
Hello, I have just ordered your latest book. ITIM. I do have a question that I was hoping you could help me with. My ex who I escaped from in August last year made several attempts on my life actually tried to kill me. A lot. He drugged me he poisoned me he put cleaning products in my food. I don't even know just how many times he tried due to a situation where I confronted him and he laughed in my face and I literally felt my brain leave my body all thoughts just went. And my brain didn't really come back until I clicked on to the numbers murder attempts he put me through. Its sheer luck I ever survived him. So 2 questions really, what was it that hapoend when I felt my brain leave my body? And how am I supposed to come to terms with him attempting to murder me not just once but several times. I have looked on the Internet but there is no advice, research or anything of the like that can explain it to me. Thank you for speaking up and sharing your knowledge with us. Cannot wait to get ITIM so I can try and make sense of my reactions to such an abnormal situation. Xx
I think it sounds like you were experiencing disasociation, it was too traumatic to be in the present moment.. I had an experience similar and I even viewed myself as a separate person. Will be interesting to hear what Jessica says about this.. sorry you’ve had such a hard time, sounds terrifying
T.W . I literally at the time of confronting him after what I found out he laughed in my face. That's when I realised why his friends drugged me also when he was away, he came back I thought he was cheating I couldn't put my finger on it but he was hiding something I installed a keylogger and he was using peadophile sites I confronted him and he laughed in my face. That's when my brain had lots of thoughts racing in my head and they just stopped. Many months later he tried to rouse me and I'd lost days I mean literally like 72hours it took a lot to wake me and when I came too he looked disappointed literally and hung his head, I thought about the last thing I remembered prior to that and it was him giving me "speed" I tried not to make eye contact after and my brain kind of started coming back slowly and pieced together why would he look disappointed I woke up because he didn't want me too. The abuse and attempts on my life got worse and a lot more frequent. There was no way out of there, I tried everything. I was convinced when I escaped I had stockholm syndrome. I know all of this sounds crazy. It was what he put me through and this is in a nut shell it's so much worse than I could actually say. And I can't find the answers anywhere other than ptsd complex trauma and professionals saying I need counselling luckily they know I'm not crazy and say it was complex trauma but no one seems to be equipped to give me therapy for what I went through.
Wow that sounds terrible!! So sorry.. Also happened to me, his friends drugged me, I can’t remember much of what happened for about 3 months.. I was terrified at the time thought I would of been sectioned if I told anyone. Hope you get the help to need... crazy men like this don’t seem that rare.
I'm so sorry about what happened to you. I also recently found out I'm autistic. I believe he knew before I did.
So… these are obvious. But what about more subtle red flags? I know plenty of “liberal” men who are still quite misogynistic and have no idea.
My ex only exhibited these gradually over the course of years and did his best to seem like a "good guy" on the outside, but these things are still so important to be aware of so no matter how long it takes to see them, you leave when you do.
Wow, sounds almost like you knew my ex-husband.
It’s like you knew my ex. I didn’t see any of these signs until far along and far too many years wasted. Thank you for this.
11/20, got a lot of work to do to get that perfect score