Thank you for writing this piece. After many years of being a serial monogamist, I "retired" from romantic relationships in 2007. I had to break the pattern because the men who pursued me said they loved my independence, but they really wanted a mommy/servant or a plaything. I wanted a true partner in those relationships, but I ended up with a dependent. Every. Single. Time. Emancipating myself from romantic relationships was the best decision I ever made. I have never been more fulfilled and content in my life. True story!
P.S. ITIM is currently on its way to me, according to the tracking info. As someone who studied psychology as for years (as a hobby/interest), I can't wait to get it!
Wow. This is so well articulated. I cringe when I hear men say that they “love strong women”. Yeah, until you’re strong with them that is, which has been my experience with every man who has has uttered these words. A man who truly loves strong women won’t feel the need to say it — they will show it.
Jess, you've done it again. This is such a great piece. I will be sharing it on my socials today. Thank you for your work, your thinking, your total badassery. What an incredible example you are to us all.
I dont think any man wants to be with the type of women you described maybe a male prostitute a selfish person incapable of being to truly live a life as god intended it to be find a wife have kids and die together who wants to be alone their whole lifes i believe there is a person for everyone even the one you talk about but you make them sound unattractive even though some of the things a independent women wants is ok with most men who ever your are i hope the best for you i believe you will find your other half and start your life
I think this is a terrible generalization of all of us who say we want a strong independent woman. When I say I want a strong, independent woman, Jessica, I mean I want a strong, independent woman. I do not believe in dominating a woman, I do not believe in "tying her to the kitchen sink" and "breaking her down". Look, I am an introvert, I like my own space, I like being able to tack up my horse, tack up a pack horse and head out on my own for the night to sleep under the stars. I don't want some woman that is gonna be needy and forbid me to go out and enjoy "me time" on the range. And I sure as hell ain't the guy who is gonna hold her back either.
I don't want some clingy, whiney Liberal woman. So when I say I want a strong, independent woman that is what I mean. I am a firm believer in that is why a cowboy needs to marry a cowgirl, or a farm boy marries a farm girl and so on and so forth
I want her to do what she wants to do with her life, she just better never cheat on me because I ain't about to ever cheat on her.
Equally, I don't want to be that husband that is not gonna be there for my wife if she needs me and needs my support I will be there and I sure as hell ain't gonna tie her down. I got those qualities from my Dad and I sure as hell am not about to break them, for one, my Mom would tan my hide if I did that if she was still with us. I am a firm believer in wedding vows and I will always be there but I sure as hell have never been controlling and I sure as hell am not about to start either so stop lumping all of us men in the same basket!
I’ve often thought that men who profess to “love strong women” fetishise them anyway.
The basic premise of harping on about it and bringing it up suggests that it’s an anomaly to them, which indicates that they think that women are inherently weak and helpless to begin with and those that are perceived as strong ‘excite’ them in some way.
Thank you for writing this piece. After many years of being a serial monogamist, I "retired" from romantic relationships in 2007. I had to break the pattern because the men who pursued me said they loved my independence, but they really wanted a mommy/servant or a plaything. I wanted a true partner in those relationships, but I ended up with a dependent. Every. Single. Time. Emancipating myself from romantic relationships was the best decision I ever made. I have never been more fulfilled and content in my life. True story!
P.S. ITIM is currently on its way to me, according to the tracking info. As someone who studied psychology as for years (as a hobby/interest), I can't wait to get it!
Wow. This is so well articulated. I cringe when I hear men say that they “love strong women”. Yeah, until you’re strong with them that is, which has been my experience with every man who has has uttered these words. A man who truly loves strong women won’t feel the need to say it — they will show it.
Jess, you've done it again. This is such a great piece. I will be sharing it on my socials today. Thank you for your work, your thinking, your total badassery. What an incredible example you are to us all.
Spot on Jessica! You do come up with the most eloquent pieces about what we endure as women all over the world.
I dont think any man wants to be with the type of women you described maybe a male prostitute a selfish person incapable of being to truly live a life as god intended it to be find a wife have kids and die together who wants to be alone their whole lifes i believe there is a person for everyone even the one you talk about but you make them sound unattractive even though some of the things a independent women wants is ok with most men who ever your are i hope the best for you i believe you will find your other half and start your life
I think this is a terrible generalization of all of us who say we want a strong independent woman. When I say I want a strong, independent woman, Jessica, I mean I want a strong, independent woman. I do not believe in dominating a woman, I do not believe in "tying her to the kitchen sink" and "breaking her down". Look, I am an introvert, I like my own space, I like being able to tack up my horse, tack up a pack horse and head out on my own for the night to sleep under the stars. I don't want some woman that is gonna be needy and forbid me to go out and enjoy "me time" on the range. And I sure as hell ain't the guy who is gonna hold her back either.
I don't want some clingy, whiney Liberal woman. So when I say I want a strong, independent woman that is what I mean. I am a firm believer in that is why a cowboy needs to marry a cowgirl, or a farm boy marries a farm girl and so on and so forth
I want her to do what she wants to do with her life, she just better never cheat on me because I ain't about to ever cheat on her.
Equally, I don't want to be that husband that is not gonna be there for my wife if she needs me and needs my support I will be there and I sure as hell ain't gonna tie her down. I got those qualities from my Dad and I sure as hell am not about to break them, for one, my Mom would tan my hide if I did that if she was still with us. I am a firm believer in wedding vows and I will always be there but I sure as hell have never been controlling and I sure as hell am not about to start either so stop lumping all of us men in the same basket!
I’ve often thought that men who profess to “love strong women” fetishise them anyway.
The basic premise of harping on about it and bringing it up suggests that it’s an anomaly to them, which indicates that they think that women are inherently weak and helpless to begin with and those that are perceived as strong ‘excite’ them in some way.
Cringe.