My name is Jess, and I am a victim of stalking. It’s time to talk about it.

I have been stalked for two years, and it’s time to speak on it.

My name is Jess, and I am a victim of stalking. It’s time to talk about it.

In August 2023, a woman appeared in court and was placed under a stalking protection order which was applied for by police, due to her fixated and obsessive behaviour towards me and my wife, Jaimi.

But that’s just a tiny part of what has happened to me.

Nothing is immune to criticism, not even our feminism. There’s plenty that feminists will argue about amongst themselves, but would they admit that they engage in the same tactics and obsessive hatred of women as the misogynists they claim to be fighting against? Would they admit that when they hate a woman enough, they will use misogyny to bring her down?

Would they admit to stalking and harassment? Would they admit that they were the ones with stalking orders against them?

Let’s find out.

I never planned on ‘becoming a feminist’, much like I never planned on becoming anything, really. I was working in child sexual exploitation and anti-human trafficking when I started tweeting and writing about the way teen girls were being held responsible for being sexually exploited. I was young, I was smart, I was capable - and I attracted the attention of established feminists. Many of them celebrated my work, invited me to meet them, wanted to work with me, and told me that they were extremely pleased to see a young (I was 25) feminist making such an impact.

‘We desperately need young, relatable feminists!’

And apparently, I was that.

My platforms grew steadily whilst I learned, networked, and wrote about my ideas. I was completing my PhD when thousands of women in feminism started to follow and share my work. I felt like my work on the psychology of victim blaming and the way we blame women and girls for trauma was being taken seriously. It felt, at that point, that I had this brilliant, dynamic, collaborative and intelligent network of interesting women around me. I looked up to many women who had been feminists for much longer than me, and made a point of reading feminist literature from 1960s onwards, so I understood the history and journey of the arguments as a young woman. I paid homage. I showed respect. I cited their work. I shared their posts.

But as I found out, none of that matters once they decide your face doesn’t fit. Feminism is no different from, and no better than, any other groupthink. If you fit in, you’ll be fine. If you don’t, they’ll eat you alive.

Depressing really that the values feminism extolls are not lived up to in any way. The same feminists campaigning against the harassment of women are harassing women they don’t like or don’t agree with. Online mobbing has become commonplace. Women are encouraged to have multiple anonymous accounts in order to ‘say what they think’, which has quickly dissolved into having multiple accounts to troll celebrities and circumvent blocks of people who they have already trolled enough to receive a block in the first place.

The first sign of trouble I had was interestingly when I came out as lesbian when I was 28.

I had long been gay, but had a complicated journey to realising it. My ex-husband used to tell me all the time that I was gay, in fact, he used to accuse me of being gay when he was angry. It came up in arguments many times. Much of my family are religious, and when they found out I was gay, some told me they would pray for me and never spoke to me again. Others quietly disappeared.

I expected feminism to embrace me coming out, as they did with all the other lesbians in feminism who were told they were bold and brave and beautiful - but instead, I was met with suspicion.

Lots of feminists wrote public posts stating that they thought I was pretending to be gay for publicity, or to sell more books. Some said I was an attention seeker. Some said I was mentally ill. Some claimed I can’t be lesbian at all, because I had been with a man when I was younger. I wasn’t prepared for the blatant homophobia, and every time I attempted to address it in feminism, I was ridiculed and mocked by women.

If I posted anything about being happy/healthier/relieved/proud to be finally out as lesbian, I was mercilessly mocked by feminists (including other lesbians, and weirdly, even by other lesbians who had also come out later in life and had been with men when they were younger too).

I watched on whilst lesbian pride excluded me, lesbian organisations ignored me, lesbian activists wrote social media posts stating that I wasn’t a lesbian, and since the day I came out at 28, it’s been the same way. I’ve had disgusting rumours and lies spread about my sexuality, my sex life, my wife, and my lesbian relationship. I’m still very much seen as a ‘fake lesbian’ or ‘queer baiting’ despite being exclusively with a woman for five years and being married for two years. And you know, the obvious stuff, like not being remotely attracted to men.

But still, I chose to get my head down and focus on my purpose - which was to robustly change and challenge the way women and girls were victim blamed and positioned as responsible for male violence.

I tried to talk about the homophobia, but I think that was also positioned as ‘attention seeking’. None of the lesbian or pro-LGBT organisations seemed to notice or care when I spoke about being mocked for being lesbian, and it seemed to either be totally ignored, or it slipped under their radars. I noticed that some of them even joined in with the comments. Many feminists have stubbornly called me bisexual for years now, and continue to call me by my old name in some weird attempt to remind me that I was once with a man - as if I don’t know. It was spread online that I had changed my name back to my birth name for some form of fraud, to hide my past in some way, instead of the reality, which was that I just wanted my birth name back and I wanted to be able to live as a lesbian woman after years of repressing and being bullied for it.

Where I had previously tried to ‘call out’ the homophobia, I simply stopped. I stopped fighting it, and focussed on my work.

Whilst that rumbled on, I noticed that every now and then, feminists would pop up out of the blue and start publicly attacking my work. In almost every case, it was a woman who had previously been supportive and pleasant to my face, and with which I had no history and no issues (or so I thought).

Each time it happened, I was in shock. Other feminists would ‘like’ sniping posts, laugh along, encourage each other to join in, and if I ever responded or called it out, I was positioned as a bully. If I ignored it I was told I was hiding from it, but if I addressed it I was told I was attention seeking and/or attempting to ‘shut women down’. It’s a losing game.

Posts would be written that rubbished my work, mocked me, positioned me as dangerous, unethical, crazy, unstable, stupid, self-obsessed, and conspiracy theorist. Where I’m from, you don’t fake nice to someone’s face and then attack them - you simply tell them how you feel and you stand by your words. Where I’m from, you also confront people who behave like this to see if they have an issue that can be solved, and to see if they’ll tell the truth when confronted so you can get a good measure of who they really are.

For several of those women, I contacted them directly to ask them why they were posting such things, and whether there was an issue that needed to be discussed.

Every single woman replied to say that there was no issue, there was nothing to be discussed, they didn’t know what I was talking about, and that I was overreacting, or I needed to ‘learn to take criticism’. A few of them pulled rank and told me I was young and didn’t understand, or that I was stupid/naive. Three of them made excuses for their behaviour and said they were unwell, stressed, or had horrible things going on in their own lives and as a psychologist, I should understand that they were just ‘lashing out’ and didn’t mean anything by it.

People who know me (as in, actually know me personally) know that I am extremely patient, and try to always understand why someone would behave in an unreasonable way. And so, I didn’t take those conversations any further, especially where women replied to tell me they had serious hardships in their lives and they lashed out at me due to being so stressed.

One woman told me she did it because her mum was dying and she hated seeing me do well because it annoyed her so much. One woman told me that she had become very ill and only given a short period of time to live healthily until she would become unwell and then eventually lose her life. She told me that we were similar age, and it enraged her that I was happy and healthy and doing well. She said she wanted to tell me the truth about why she trolled me so hard for over a year. Many of the feminists reading this followed that account, and probably don’t even know the real young woman behind it, but she was struggling to cope with her illness, and unfortunately, I was the outlet. Another told me that she didn’t mean to send abuse to me, but she was feeling really unwell due to cancer medication and wasn’t thinking straight when she did it.

I’m not going to talk about who they all are, but if they read this, they’ll know.

I think it’s fair to say that I’ve given a lot of space and a lot of patience to many women who, on reflection, were emotionally manipulating me with stories of death, trauma, and illness, so I didn’t confront them further about their behaviours.

When I released my first book, ‘Why Women are Blamed for Everything’, I really just wanted somewhere to collate my PhD studies and theories, and some of my articles and ideas I had been writing for years. I ordered about 50 copies, I think.

It ended up selling ten thousand copies in 6 weeks and it was certainly helped along by several celebrities sharing and talking about the book - which also came out of nowhere. I didn’t have any connections, I didn’t have an agent, I didn’t have a publisher. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, and so during lockdown, me, Jaimi and Mandy had to ship out thousands of books from the dining room. The house looked like a warehouse for months, and trucks would deliver pallets of books to the front door on a regular basis.

It was an overwhelming time, and a huge shock. I was pulled in every direction imaginable. People wanted me to change what I did, what I said. I was offered huge deals that I turned down because they stipulated that I could not continue to share or write about sex based oppression and radical feminism. I was criticised for talking to people who didn’t align with radical feminist views. I was mocked for the book. Prominent feminists I truly looked up to either blanked me totally, or wrote scathing social media posts about me and the book. Women I had known for ages and spoke to regularly never spoke to me again, and women I had never heard of were in my DMs, treating me like some sort of idol.

All the while, I was being absolutely overwhelmed with rape threats, death threats, antisemitic abuse (lots of people think I’m Jewish, and I know I’ve had shit for saying this before, but because people think I’m Jewish, I get regular antisemitic abuse and it’s horrific), comments about my body, my weight, sexual comments, dick pics - one person even used pics of me in my bikini to scam some guy out of thousands of pounds by pretending to be me. My computer was hacked, and police took my IT for weeks.

Instead of supporting me, feminists around me accused me of exaggerating or lying about the scale of the abuse I was getting.

The book becoming a success was a poisoned chalice. I was immensely proud that I had written such a successful book, but the abuse and the trolling was unbearable. I spoke with several celeb women privately and asked them how the hell I was supposed to cope - and they all gave me their own versions of their story. They had all been harassed. They had all been abused. They had all been targeted by fixated people who didn’t leave them alone for weeks, months, years and in one case, decades.

I was being recognised everywhere I went. People came up to me in supermarkets, toilets, train stations, airports, restaurants, shopping centres and even in a forest when we were walking the dogs. Generally, people were lovely, and just chatting away about loving the book and listening to me on the radio or something like that - but every time someone approached me, I froze. It terrified me - because I didn’t know if they were going to tell me they loved the book, or were going to threaten me. People approached me several times whilst I was with my kids. One woman approached me after I explicitly asked her not to because my kids were with me eating dinner, and I keep my kids as protected as possible.

Some of the celeb women I had gone to for support told me to get a wig. Some of them told me to lie about who I was. Some of them told me to change my glasses when I was out in public, because I was too recognisable. Some of them told me that my silver hair and fringe made me too easy to pick out in a crowd (which you’ll notice, I don’t have hair like that anymore).

At one point, I became so scared to go out that I would have panic attacks in restaurants and shops. The combination of being trolled online and being recognised in real life left me scared and on edge. At conferences, I hid in green rooms or went to nearby cafes once I had done my speech. At events, I did my bit and left - whereas I would usually hang around and network and catch up with old contacts. Nothing felt safe anymore. Instead of realising I was not comfortable with the attention, I was chalked up by feminists as ‘thinking she’s better than everyone’ and ‘rude’, ‘arrogant’, ‘self-obsessed’ and that I thought I was too good to network or spend time with women at conferences.

After the book success, the feminists who had decided I was not welcome anymore became bolder and bolder. Almost every day, I was sent a post about myself. Sometimes accusing me of petty stuff that had never happened, sometimes ridiculous rumours that made me laugh, sometimes huge, terrifying things that frightened me to death. Sometimes they were just vile comment threads of feminist women laughing whilst calling me fat, ugly, and generally mocking my appearance.

Lots of feminist women who were still in my DMs chatting to me like I was their friend were on those threads, liking horrible comments or even taking part - as if they hadn’t realised I could see them playing both sides. They would comment on the threads about how awful and disgusting I was, and then DM me asking how I was and how everything was going.

I lost faith in so many women I had grown to like and respect. They seemed to find each other and feed off each other. I noticed as the months went on that they connected with each other based on their resentment of me. Women who were totally unknown to each other were suddenly friends, united by finding a thread where I was being verbally destroyed and having a great old time on it.

I found myself asking frequently, can they really be ‘feminists’ and engage in this level of abuse of one young woman?

I knew the answer was no, but I also knew that they would claim they were feminists and then claim it was ‘just criticism’ and definitely not months of obsessive abuse and trolling.

The incidents got worse and worse. So did the lies. So did the betrayal and the abuse. Women around me turned out to be fake. Some of them had kept themselves hidden for months or years, and whilst I was literally crying to them that I wasn’t coping, they were feeding the information back to those who were becoming more and more obsessed with me and Jaimi.

We lost women who we thought were good friends. The growing collective of ‘feminists’ who were involved in the abuse and harassment of me became more and more fixated on Jaimi, and so the trolling spread and broadened to both of us, then to both of us and the kids, then to both of us, the kids, our wider families, and then to our colleagues and friends and partners.

In summer 2021, I started asking direct questions of several feminists about what was happening to me, and why. I noticed patterns, and I noticed connections. I noticed networks were being built that seemed to congregate every time I was trolled, or something bad happened to me, or I spoke about something personal. Every feminist I spoke to told me they didn’t know anything. It was then that I realised that I was being lied to, and I was in a very dangerous situation.

Late summer 2021, and I was called by a feminist activist who felt she had a duty to tell me about something terrible she had been told about me and Jaimi. She had been at a radfem meeting where women were discussing my work. At some point, a woman had interrupted and said not to read or believe any of my work, because I was dangerous. She then went on to make public, very serious allegations about my sexuality, my relationship, and my sex life. I have never met this woman, and don’t know her at all. I don’t know why she did that, or where that information came from - but I knew that if it was being shared in groups like that, and women were actually believing it, I was in deep trouble.

I was writing my second book, ‘Sexy But Psycho’ when I met with my publisher to warn them that I had a strong feeling that when the book came out, I would be attacked with the aim of totally destroying my work and my reputation. My publisher was slightly alarmed but I think they would agree that they were not overly concerned, and felt that maybe the months of betrayal and abuse had made me hyper-vigilant and stressed.

A couple of months later, I received messages from a feminist journalist that confirmed everything I thought I knew. (She knows who she is and I know she will read this, so please don’t think I will protect your identity forever. I know what you’ve done, I know how you’ve done it - and so do the people who count - even though you’ve lied, and denied it to them, they’ve seen all your messages to me.)

She pushed me to go public about my childhood and my cases with the police, and I explained several times that I couldn’t do that because myself, my wife, my kids and my house would be at risk. She said I had a ‘feminist duty’ to do it, and I replied to say that I felt that was unfair and unethical to push me to do so. It was only when I said no to her that she laid into me personally - and I was totally taken aback.

No matter how angry I was about what she did and said in those messages and beyond, I’m still honest enough to write here that those messages broke my heart. I was gutted that she was so horrible to me, and had accused me of such terrible stuff. Not only that, but she had said that I was lucky she hadn’t done it to me publicly. I knew that was a threat.

The day ‘Sexy But Psycho’ became Sunday Times Bestseller in March 2022, I didn’t celebrate, I shit myself. I knew what was coming next. The book coming out was one thing, but it becoming a Sunday Times Bestseller on release was not going to go down well at all with those who had been waiting for something to cling to for years. My publishers congratulated me and supported me, and told me everything was going to be okay.

But it wasn’t okay.

The last two years have been a blur of the most mind blowing hatred, trolling, harassment, abuse, thousands of lies, and character assassination that no one should ever have to endure.

My entire life has been scrutinised, lied about and twisted. Some people can see a witch hunt for what it is - but as I often say: if people want to believe what they read about someone, they will. It doesn’t matter how ridiculous it is. It doesn’t matter how personal or malicious it is. It doesn’t even matter that the person writing it has never met me and knows absolutely nothing about me - if people want to hate me, they will and they’ll continue to do so.

In the last two years, the following has been done to me, all by so-called ‘feminists’:

1. Lies and false allegations have been spread about my work and my books

2. My private IT accounts have been hacked, passwords changed and years of my work was deleted

3. Confidential documents have been stolen and shared online to intimidate me

4. My home address, house price and house details have been shared and offered out to anyone who wanted them, including to MRAs who asked for my address and links to my house. Feminists were providing the links to my house to anyone who wanted them.

5. My books were set on fire and publicly burned by a feminist who was later warned by police

6. I was maliciously reported to HCPC so many times I’ve lost count. I was not found to have done anything wrong each time.

7. I was maliciously reported to NHS ethics boards and investigated. I was found not to have breached ethics and my work was found to have no issues. This was despite it having absolutely nothing to do with the NHS in the first place, and me not actually working on any NHS research.

8. I was threatened by feminist that I was lucky they hadn’t publicly ‘outed’ me yet for ‘lying about rape’

9. I was maliciously reported to BPS repeatedly and I was investigated for 6 months. I was found not to have breached any rules or ethics, and all complaints were unfounded. The BPS later supported me and provided police statements about the harassment.

10. Mass malicious complaints have been sent to everyone I work with or have ever worked with.

11. Malicious stories were given to a journalist for the Daily Mail (if you’re reading this, don’t think I don’t know who was really behind that article, by the way because you slipped up and told me who you use for hit pieces when you don’t want your name on it). The article was filled with ridiculous accusations and lies which could not be published because it was defamation. The Daily Mail chose not to publish it because it was such nonsense, which is quite something.

12. A woman I met once in 2012 pretended to have done her PhD with me and trolled me online for months, sharing hundreds of lies and rumours that fuelled much of the abuse. She was later warned by police for harassment.

13. My work has been relentlessly lied about, mocked and discredited

14. Ex-colleagues and contacts have lied and mocked me online to the point where a further four of them have received police harassment warnings

15. Malicious and false rumours have been started that my company and myself personally evade tax payments or commit financial fraud

16. Feminists have tried to find information about the paternity of my children and location/information of them

17. Private photos and videos of my wedding were shared and mocked in feminist groups online

18. Photos of my body have been shared and mocked by feminists

19. I have been repeatedly maliciously accused of not being lesbian at all, and either pretending to be gay or being bisexual or lying about being lesbian

20. Malicious rumours and allegations have been spread that I abuse and harm my wife, and feminists have claimed they hope she leaves me, and discloses abuse so they can publicly ‘support’ her - all while claiming she is a stupid airhead bimbo

21. I have been publicly maliciously accused of paedophilia and sex offending by feminists who called me a ‘nonce’ multiple times

22. I have been publicly maliciously accused of sending porn to victims of abuse despite me being an anti-porn campaigner and not watching or accessing porn at all

23. Feminists wrote threads about me and Jaimi having sex, talking about what it must be like for us to have sex, and I quote ‘such big tits getting in the way, boinging out’ (don’t think I don’t have receipts for this thread)

24. Malicious rumours were spread that I lie about being from a council estate, and that I lie about my upbringing

25. Malicious rumours were spread that I was never raped, and I lie about being sexually abused as a teenager for attention and clout in feminism - the feminist journalist suggested my ‘stories about my life’ were getting ‘more and more fantastical’

26. I was maliciously accused of stealing charitable donations despite being able to provide clear proof of the money being donated accurately and with the written permission of all involved

27. Leading feminists and authors publicly claimed I am mentally ill and have maliciously claimed I have diagnoses of psychiatric disorders and personality disorders, linking that to why I strongly oppose the pathologisation of women

28. Academics I have never met have posted pretending they know me, have met me, or worked with me to claim negative or derogatory things about me or my work

29. I’ve received hundreds of abusive and offensive messages from people who have been emboldened by this campaign from feminists

30. Feminists have maliciously shared private messages I wrote about not being able to cope with the lies and the harassment, and then mocked me for not being able to cope whilst fuelling it

31. Feminists have messaged me to ‘check I’m okay’ and to ‘offer support’ whilst actually being the ones encouraging the abuse of me and my wife

32. I have been maliciously accused of being my wife’s ex-schoolteacher, lecturer, tutor etc when I have never taught my wife, never been a schoolteacher, never been a tutor, and I became a senior lecturer after we started living together, and the role was at a different university in a different area of the country.

33. Malicious articles have been written about me claiming I traffic and abuse women for financial gain

34. My publisher has been harassed for months for standing by me and supporting me throughout this ordeal

35. My friends, colleagues, and contacts have been sent messages and have been spoken to, to tell them to stop speaking to me, stop working with me, or to convince them that I’m dangerous or abusive

36. The BPS received a threat over the phone to their staff, saying that if they didn’t do something to me first, something would happen to their staff

37. Some of my colleagues received several threats to stop working with me or else things would happen to them and their work.

38. Malicious reports were submitted to my contacts, commissioners and colleagues that I don’t have a real PhD.

39. Malicious rumours were spread that my work history and CV is fake. Where I worked on projects under confidentiality agreements and cannot comment on them, it has been said that I have lied about this work. I still cannot comment on the specific pieces of work due to the confidential nature of the work - so again, I cannot respond without breaching agreements.

40. Academics I do not know have claimed that I have lied about having an operation to remove almost all of my cervix just after my first smear test when I was found to have carcinoma in situ. One academic was investigated by her university for these posts and many others she posted in 2023

41. One senior academic from another university claimed I was a sex offender and said I was the same as Russell Brand. This was again investigated by her university in 2023

42. Feminists created a meeting group that met monthly on zoom to plan what they were going to do to me next and what things they would share online next

43. One woman sent me a voicenote of a feminist therapist calling me a cunt and saying she wanted to plan to ‘end’ me

44. Feminists shared lies about Jaimi’s qualifications and studies, claiming that I somehow pulled strings to get her on to a PhD course by fraudulently doing a Masters degree in her name so she could get on to PhD (essentially arguing she was too stupid to do it herself)

To be absolutely clear here, this is ON TOP OF the daily abuse I get from men. The rape threats. The death threats. The dick pics. The comments from men, MRAs and incels who troll me endlessly online.

Weirdly, the abuse I get from men has paled in comparison to what has been done to me and Jaimi by ‘feminist’ women. The recently convicted stalker of Dr Charlotte Proudman, Mottershead, was also targeting me throughout this time period and frankly, and honestly, I barely even noticed him because of the scale of the stalking and harassment I was being subjected to by women around me. I learned he had been obsessed with me, making videos to me, and I hadn’t even noticed.

Finally, and probably most pertinently, on the 23rd August 2023, Sally Ann Robinson appeared in court due to stalking and harassment of myself and my wife.

She was placed under a stalking protection order and was ordered to stop contacting me, my colleagues, friends and contacts, to stop talking about me and Jaimi, to stop targeting us with fake complaints, and to stop using social media unless she was willing to have it monitored by West Yorkshire Police. This is the real reason she went quiet, and this is the real reason she stopped posting horrific lies and abuse towards me and about me. Multiple professionals and organisations have provided police statements about her obsessed and fixated behaviour over years.

Sally Ann Robinson garnered sympathy and attention by lying to thousands of people the day ‘Sexy But Psycho’ became a Sunday Times Bestseller. After years of following my work, coming to my events, even writing me long letters and making me gifts, she started asking for my home address, asking to send flowers and gifts and presents to me. I wouldn’t give her my address.

Months later, she randomly began to claim that SBP contained her life story and that I had stolen it from her for profit. This was not true, and has never been true. She does not in any way feature in that book. She knows this, but she continued regardless, because she was getting more and more support and attention from feminists (and MRAs) who had been looking for a reason to hate me legitimately for months.

She then added to her lies that her life story was stolen and included in my first book, WWBE. This was much more difficult for me to respond to. The reason for this is because Sally Ann anonymously submitted her views on the use of CSE films for a report I wrote back in 2018. At the time, she submitted these comments whilst working as a professional in this sector.

I then cited the report as a source in WWBE. I used an extract from that report in WWBE, which was published two years later. Not only did she know about this, but she also messaged me saying how happy she was about it. Further, she also messaged me to say she was contacting professionals who she felt needed to read the book and was proud that her extract was cited from the report into the book years later. She continually offered to give more information for my reports, but I declined as I wasn’t writing any others. She stayed in touch with me on and off for years and repeatedly said she loved the book and the extract I had used from the 2018 report.

I don’t know her life story. There is no life story in my books. This lie has been one of the most devastating of them all, and she, and those who were encouraging her knew that the most impactful way to position me as dangerous would be to claim I had stolen a woman’s life story for profit (don’t think I’m stupid enough to believe she was acting alone).

The reason it was hard for me to respond publicly was because I didn’t want to breach her rights to confidentiality, by publicly stating she had anonymously been included in the report in 2018 that she submitted to. I felt very conflicted - I needed to explain and clear my name, but I also still had a duty of care - no matter how she was behaving.

This is why BPS supported me, and this is why I was found to have done nothing wrong. There is no rule against citing a source years later from a publicly published free report - it is normal to reuse publicly published comments and case studies in other locations and sources later on. Especially when the person is proven to be aware and to support the use of that extract or case study.

This now doesn’t matter, as she self-identified as taking part in the report back in 2018 hundreds of times online whilst attempting to cover her own lies about her ‘life story’ being stolen.

Instead of just admitting she wasn’t telling the truth, she continued the narrative that it was her ‘life story’ and that it was stolen without her consent. None of this is true, but it created fertile ground for many others to become emboldened in their hatred of me and my work.

There were many times when I wondered if she would admit what she had done and just stop, but it seemed that she couldn’t go back once she had caused such chaos.

Sally Ann went on to harass and stalk myself and then my wife, and then started contacting my wife’s family for almost 18 months before appearing in court. She even wrote to Jaimi’s professors where she is doing her PhD, and rather than claiming Jaimi was being abused (which is what Sally Ann posted publicly), she claimed to them that Jaimi was abusing her, and encouraged them to remove her from her PhD. Thankfully, her professors realised this was malicious immediately and supported Jaimi.

West Yorkshire Police applied for the Stalking Protection Order in July 2023 to give us some well-needed respite from her fixated and obsessive behaviour which amounted to thousands of posts, emails, videos, and comments across multiple platforms and methods. Her lies about me and my work became more and more sinister, and she involved multiple people, pretending she had been abused by me and my wife, and claiming I was under police investigation, when in fact, it was her who was under police investigation. She is still under police investigation now as I write this. She was interviewed by West Yorkshire Police in May 2023 for stalking and harassment offences.

I have ALWAYS been the victim in this case, and I have never been investigated for anything. Claiming otherwise has been part of the stalking behaviour I have endured.

I’ve been subjected to one of the most incessant and obsessive smear campaigns I’ve ever seen. Almost every person involved has been a woman, and a ‘feminist’.

This has been a witch hunt of incredible proportions, tactics and effort.

Many women have stood by and watched this happen. For many reasons. Sometimes they’ve called me to say they are too scared to get involved in case they are targeted by the same women next. Sometimes they’ve told me that they can’t risk their own work being targeted by defending me or supporting me publicly.

For lots of women, whilst they don’t actually believe any of the accusations or lies spread about me, it’s safe to say they’ve enjoyed me being publicly punished and humiliated for years.

Lots of other women have unwittingly taken everything they’ve read online to be true, and because I was advised not to respond or engage at any point, there was never any counter narrative from me to explain the reality of what was happening to me.

So I want to make one thing clear:

This is not going to work. It hasn’t worked. I have stayed solid, I have refused to engage, I have learned how to cope, I have taught myself new strategies, and new ways of staying focussed on broader goals.

I have worked harder, I have pushed myself further, and I have had to find refuge in myself in times when I didn’t see much point in carrying on with work - or indeed - life.

I have had to find strength and resolve in parts of myself I didn’t know existed. I am very lucky I am still alive to talk about this.

In the last two years, and despite all of this going on, I committed myself to my work and to the suffering of women and girls worldwide. I’ve written books, I’ve trained thousands of professionals, I’ve worked with police forces, I’ve created free resources, I’ve written countless free articles, I’ve travelled the world, I’ve raised my kids. I co-authored the ITIM with Jaimi, which also became a bestseller.

I carried on.

Jaimi carried on.

We carried on.

Lies will always remain lies, no matter how many times you repeat them. No matter how obsessive the poster is. No matter how much they claim they are telling the truth.

Eventually, people realise they’ve been lied to, and there are multiple vested interests in lying about my work on medical and psychiatric pathologisation, victim blaming of women and VAWG.

I was advised repeatedly that I couldnt speak about ongoing police investigations and Sally Ann Robinson being handed a Stalking Protection Order in August 2023. However, I am tired of not being able to talk about the reality of what has been done to Jaimi and I.

A victim shouldn’t have to remain silent whilst a perpetrator of crime runs wild.

If anyone has any integrity left, it will mean a lot of people needing to step back and look at what has actually happened to me and to Jaimi in the last two years instead of what they’ve ‘heard’ or seen posted online.

More than anything else, I am gobsmacked by how many feminist women have been involved in this, and made false accusations and spread false rumours of abuse, knowing full well that they simultaneously claim that false accusations are rare - and that we should believe women.

Are we supposed to believe all women? I thought we were. I thought false accusations for malicious intent were a myth? Then why would feminists be using that very same tactic?

I know how controversial this is. I know what I’m writing. But how do I authentically address what has been done to us both without highlighting this obvious hypocrisy?

There is something exceptionally sadistic about deliberately using false accusations of domestic and sexual abuse to harm me (a victim of both), knowing those accusations are false. Similarly, it is jaw-dropping that feminist women decided to harass and abuse me, by claiming that my wife was a victim of abuse - completely disregarding the fact that Jaimi has also previously been subjected to sexual and domestic abuse in her life, and that she was devastated to see that she was being used as a pawn to get at me.

It’s sad and frankly a bit sick that ‘feminists’ have seen two women who fell in love, chose a life together, got married and live together ever since - and decided that would be a prime target for harassment and stalking. We are human beings - the incredible distress we have been put through by having these heartbreaking lies spread about our relationship and our sexualities has been so much to bear. We’ve both needed significant support. I guess we are just lucky that this relationship is solid, that we have loved each other through it all, and that we have held each other up no matter what has been done or said.

I have seen multiple posts by feminists betting on when we would split up, how long our relationship would last, how long til we divorce. Taking glee in hoping we split up. Planning what they could do or say next to cause us to give up and end our marriage.

It’s sickening. Why are these women so obsessed with our marriage?

I am eternally grateful for the people who have stood by me through this ordeal, especially as it is now becoming clearer to more and more people that this was a smear campaign and nothing more. We are so lucky to have friends, colleagues and professionals around us who figured out what was going on very early on, and have been there for us this whole time.

I have been stalked and harassed every single day for two years, and then been repositioned as either a perpetrator, or as deserving of the abuse. I have held my wife whilst she has cried and panicked at what would happen to us next. I have equally been comforted and held by Jaimi whilst I wondered if there was any point continuing.

I realised that hatred is a strong motivator, and I had to find something that was stronger than their hatred.

However, I am stronger than I appear, and as I have said many times before: I will never replicate or mirror the actions of perpetrators in order to ‘get even’ or ‘fight back’. I will never retaliate. I will never engage.

Many women have mistaken this for weakness.

But it is not a weakness, it is a core strength.

It is one of the strongest parts of who I am - to never give up, never give in to abuse, and to never become poisoned by the hatred and negativity around me. I have been through a lot in my life, but I have never broken my own principle - to never become the person who has hurt me.

The worst thing I could ever become, is one of the women who decided to use ‘feminism’ and ‘justice’ as a guise so they could legitimise their stalking and harassment of two young women for years.

There may be power in numbers on Mumsnet, Twitter and Tattle, but there is more power in the truth, ‘sisters’. The actual truth.

And the truth is that at least 6 women were given warnings by police to stop harassing myself and my wife, and one woman appeared in court on 23 August 2023 and placed under a stalking protection order by the police because she is absolutely obsessed with me and my wife. Alongside this, many other women have kept their noses clean but pushed from behind the scenes to cause as much damage as possible.

This is the underbelly of British feminism, and why I walked away from so much of it.

I will always centre women and girls in my work because they deserve someone authentic fighting their corner against pathologisation, victim blaming and violence - but this sector is toxic. This sector is dangerous.

How can an anti-VAWG sector be so violent and abusive to women within it? I am not the first and I will not be the last woman targeted in this way, or by these individuals. One day it will be another woman, then another, then another.

So much of what I have written here mirrors the tactics of abusive men and MRAs online. Has feminism simply learned to copy this behaviour? Has it always been there?

How can any feminist claim that MRAs are targeting feminists in this way, when they are also targeting their own in this way?

This is why the other side laughs at us. This is why patriarchy always fucking prospers. Those men will stick together and cover each other til the day they die. Hell, even after they die (Epstein). Men stick together because they know it brings them power.

Women will tear each other apart over an opinion they don’t like, or aligning with a view someone doesn’t agree with. Hell, I was told I couldn’t be friends with someone that another feminist didn’t like. It’s cliquey and it’s childish.

It’s become clear to me that the VAWG sector is no different from any other. There is nothing more noble about it, or moral or safe. It’s a group of humans who are just as toxic and contradictory as any other. A depressing but vital realisation.

We have feminists writing hitting pieces about other women and calling it ‘feminist journalism’. Women dragging each other. Talking about their appearance, their sexuality, their personal relationships and their sex lives. It’s gross. I can’t believe the things I see online anymore. The mobbing, the celebrations at the destruction of humans they don’t like. The trolling. The fake accounts. The idolising, the turning. The twisting. The doxxing of each other. The outright hatred of younger women. The disgusting ways ‘competitor’ VAWG services treat each other. The lack of collaboration and support of each others’ work. The professional jealousy and the obsession with hunting each other down.

Throughout and despite all this, my work will continue, and has continued, to grow and cause global change for real women and girls who have been abused, been gaslit, been pathologised, been smeared, been lied about, been targeted, stalked, harassed, threatened.

I knew I couldn’t be sucked into such a toxic culture, no matter how much I was being goaded to take part. I never retaliated and I will always be proud of that choice, even if it meant I lost control of the narrative about me.

I used to be scared of admitting all of this was happening to me. But I’m not anymore.

I’m not scared of any of this anymore. I’ve grown through it all, and there is nothing left to be frightened of. It doesn’t make sense that I can bravely talk about being raped, abused, having babies as a teenager, being bullied and discriminated against, being socially outcast, being exploited and drugged - but can’t talk about this?

This post is not written in anger, malice, or anything else. I’ve chosen to talk about what really happened to me because I deserve a voice - and I haven’t had one for so long. This is what happened to me and Jaimi, and we’ve both been treated appallingly.

The aim was to totally destroy me, my career, my business, my socials, my work, my marriage and my friendships.

To ‘end’ me. As I heard, loud and clear in the voice notes between women.

There is no sisterhood for tall poppies. We all know it.

For those women who wish to remain in feminism and the VAWG sector, I already know that many of you will recognise the abusive and toxic dynamics I write about here - even if you don’t want to admit it out loud. Even if you protest and claim that it’s not this bad, or that it’s only a handful of women behaving like this. Lots of you have seen this stuff or been targeted yourselves.

I know we are not supposed to talk about it - but I have gone past caring. This needs to be talked about and I may as well be the one who raises it. This cannot continue.

The best disinfectant is sunlight. We keep being told that speaking the truth is vital, and that abuse thrives in silence and darkness - so why wouldn’t it apply to our feminism?

Like I said in the first line, feminism isn’t immune to criticism, and it isn’t immune to abusive dynamics either.

For this sector to repair and become what it is supposed to be, there needs to be some serious reflection. We are supposed to be anti-violence, anti-abuse, anti-misogyny. Feminist criticism is supposed to be aimed at SYSTEMS not INDIVIDUALS.

Currently, all I see is a wave of feminism becoming more and more individualistic, toxic, and beginning to mirror the tactics of the MRAs and abusers we have been trying to push back against for decades.

Is this really our direction of travel?

Thank you for reading this. I know it will be shocking for many of you - but I know many of you have been waiting for me to write this for years. For some of you, this will make a lot of sense, as so many of you have contacted me over the last two years to ask me what the hell is happening.

I understand that this post will be mocked, I will probably continue to be abused and harassed and stalked - perpetrators of abuse won’t stop their behaviours due to some blog the victim writes - but at least now everyone knows what has really been happening to us.

I think I would like to finish this article by saying that organised stalking exists, and cyberstalking, online mobbing and doxxing is life changing.

Women write to me all the time about their exes and colleagues and abusive families launching campaigns like this against them that change their lives forever. I know they are gaslit and told this doesn’t happen, and it’s part of some form of persecution complex or delusion.

I just want to share my love and empathy for all the other women (those in normal life and those in the public eye) who have lived this, the way I have.

I know just like you, I want to be able to live a normal day-to-day life without this constant abuse.

Thank you,

Jess x

Ways to support my work:

I have created tonnes of free trauma-informed and anti-victim blaming resources for women and girls subjected to abuse at VictimFocus.com - lots of them are translated into different languages too

I created a free seven-module course for anyone subjected to sexual violence called ‘Caring for yourself after sexual violence’. It’s been taken by over 70,000 people and can be found on my websites and socials

I have written books and journals available all over the world on Amazon, and at all good book stores. My new book ‘Underclass’ is out in April 2024.

You can subscribe to my writing and my work on Substack too

I provide lots of different services as a trauma-informed psychologist and as a consultant for professionals, authors and entrepreneurs