Why I Will Not Apologise to CAFCASS CEO

Dr Jess explains her response to the letter from Jacky Tiotto, CAFCASS CEO

I never thought I’d be writing this. But here we are.

This week, I received a letter from the CEO of CAFCASS demanding that I retract a comment I made during a webinar hosted by Dr Charlotte Proudman. Not only did they demand a retraction, they also insisted I issue a formal written apology to be circulated to every single CAFCASS employee, and give assurances I would never say anything like it again.

So here’s my answer: absolutely not.

What I said was statistically accurate, professionally valid, and rooted in basic safeguarding knowledge. The fact that CAFCASS is more offended by what I said than by the harm it implies tells us everything we need to know about the priorities of the organisation.

The letter I received:

Instead of being bullied like this, by an agency and professional I have had no dealings with, and never said a bad word about, I decided to make a video to respond, which has now been watched by over half a million people (not sure Jacky was banking on me raising this publicly, to be honest).

What I Actually Said

Let me clarify exactly what caused this outrage. I said, during a broader (private, closed) conversation about the justice system, that on the balance of probabilities, some professionals - including social workers and CAFCASS practitioners - will be abusers. Some will go home and abuse their children. Some will go home and abuse their partners. Some will be misogynistic, racist, homophobic, classist. Some will be victims themselves. We are a microcosm of the society we live in. That’s it. That was the comment.

It wasn’t an accusation. It wasn’t inflammatory. It was a statement of statistical reality. I didn’t labour the point, I didn’t actually accuse anyone of anything.

I was talking about judges, barristers, police officers, therapists, social workers, and yes, CAFCASS - because they are all professionals working within the family justice system. And all of us, as professionals, bring our own experiences, trauma, biases and behaviours into our work. That isn’t controversial - or at least, it shouldn’t be.

So why did this warrant a threatening letter from the CEO of CAFCASS?

Many Social Workers Agreed With Me

Since this story has gained attention, I’ve had messages and public comments from many social workers - including current and former CAFCASS practitioners - who’ve told me they completely agree with what I said.

Some have commented publicly, some have messaged me privately. But the theme is the same: they don’t find my comments at all offensive. They don’t think what I said was inflammatory. They know the realities of the profession. They’ve seen or heard things that concerned them. And they’ve thanked me for saying out loud what many know to be true.

I want to say this clearly: I respect those workers deeply.

They are the ones who give me hope. Because they’re not scared of honesty. They don’t feel the need to protect the image of the profession at the cost of children’s safety. And they certainly don’t align themselves with the defensive and disproportionate response from the CEO.

This isn’t just my view - it’s shared by many across the sector. Which is why the CEO’s letter feels so disconnected. It does not reflect the reality on the ground. It doesn’t speak for the social workers doing the hard work every day. It doesn’t even reflect how CAFCASS practitioners feel.

Why Is Social Work Untouchable?

What I’m really struggling to understand is this: why is it acceptable - even expected - to scrutinise other public professions, but social work seems off-limits to Jacky Tiotto?

Since the murder of Sarah Everard by a serving police officer, there has been widespread, consistent, and justifiable public scrutiny of the police in the UK. Investigations have revealed forces riddled with rapists, abusers, stalkers, racists and misogynists. We’ve seen national reports, watchdog reviews, policy changes, disciplinary overhauls and multi-year campaigns to “clean up” police culture.

And yet, when someone dares to say, “On the balance of probability, there may be abusers working in CAFCASS or social work,” it’s labelled offensive. Inflammatory. Worthy of a formal apology.

Why?

The fire service was exposed for serious misogyny, harassment and violence. We got a few headlines. Then silence.

The ambulance service was investigated for sexual assaults and predatory behaviour. A few more headlines. Gone again.

Even the NHS - who’ve quietly revised guidance and training in response to abuse scandals in GP surgeries, mental health units and hospitals - managed to do it without anyone sending threatening letters to researchers or psychologists raising concerns.

So why is social work so different?

Why is the mere suggestion that abuse could exist within CAFCASS treated as heresy?

And where’s the reckoning for mental health, psychology, and therapy? Where’s the systemic scrutiny of our own professions? Because let me tell you, it’s coming. And it’s long overdue.

Why This Is Bigger Than Me

It’s clear to me now that this wasn’t really about what I said - it was about the fact that I said it out loud. The truth, especially in this sector, is often treated like a scandal. And when someone dares to speak plainly, it causes a panic among those clinging to the illusion that our institutions are above reproach. That we are saints. Morally superior to those we work with. Better.

I’ve spent over a decade studying, writing and speaking about systemic failures in mental health, child protection and the justice system. I’ve talked about the way abuse is hidden, ignored or enabled in professional contexts. I’ve written books, run training, delivered lectures - and every time, I’ve stuck to evidence and experience.

But none of that matters to people who are obsessed with reputation management over child safeguarding. Instead of addressing the real problem - that abuse happens within institutions - they come after the person who points it out.

The Sector Is Rotten

Let me be honest: this whole sector is toxic as fuck.

It’s full of professionals who stalk each other online, write anonymous complaints, snipe from fake accounts, sabotage each other’s careers, and obsessively monitor what others say - not to challenge ideas, but to destroy reputations.

I’ve been the target of this for years. Whether it’s psychiatrists dressing up in wigs and mocking me on TikTok, or strangers posting sexually violent content about me, or now a CEO sending threatening letters because I dared to name a basic truth - I’ve seen it all. And I’m done pretending any of it makes sense.

This isn’t about protecting children. It’s about protecting institutions.

Is it really such a reach that professionals might be abusing their own kids?

Already, I’ve had thousands of comments, emails and messages from people who either:

1. Were abused themselves by a professional

2. Were abused as children by a parent who was a professional at the time

3. Were abused by their partner who was/is a professional

4. Are a professional, and are currently holding active cases where the perpetrator is a professional

This isn’t a handful of people, this is thousands. Why would anyone ever believe that being in a professional role makes us infallible? Perfect? Ethical? Better than everyone else?

The Hypocrisy Is Blinding

If I’d said “CAFCASS workers all abuse their children,” then sure - challenge me. But I didn’t say that. I made a tentative, evidence-based comment about statistical likelihood. And I backed it up in my video with actual convictions of real social workers who have abused children in their care. I read out their names. Their cases. Their sentences. Public record.

Yet the CEO of CAFCASS felt confident enough to send a letter that completely denied the possibility that anyone within their organisation could be abusive.

Think about that.

The police have had to accept they have abusers in their ranks. So have the NHS, the fire service, the ambulance service, the GMC, schools, churches, charities. But apparently CAFCASS lives in a magical bubble where no such thing could possibly happen.

That denial alone should terrify people. All this has taught the public is that someone who leads an organisation concerned with abuse, denies abuse.

I Won’t Play the Game

The letter from CAFCASS arrived at a time in my life when I simply no longer care about keeping up appearances. I am not here to preserve a professional image for people I’ve never even met. I don’t know this CEO. I’ve never spoken to her. And yet she felt entitled to try to intimidate me into silence.

It won’t work.

Years ago, I’d have been scared. I’d have kept the receipts and said nothing. But not anymore. I’ve done the soul-searching. I’ve stepped back from this sector precisely because of how abusive, performative and self-protective it has become. I don’t want to be part of it. I want no role in the power plays, the silence, the behind-the-scenes threats.

And I know I’m not alone.

Many professionals are too scared to speak about their own sector because whistleblowers are attacked and silenced by institutions regularly.

Every week, professionals contact me privately to say they feel the same. They hate the culture. They hate the bullying. They hate the fakery. They hate what it’s doing to children, survivors, and the professionals who actually want to do good work.

This letter didn’t shame me. It proved me right.

Share This With Every CAFCASS Employee

Jacky - you wanted a written apology to circulate. Here’s my public response. Share this blog with every CAFCASS employee if you like. Many of them already follow me. Many of them will agree with what I’ve said. Because it’s true. And because it matters.

If we continue pretending that abuse only happens outside the institutions designed to prevent it, we will keep failing the people who need us most.

I will not apologise for telling the truth.

Ever.

Maybe you owe me an apology, instead?